surviving first semester

it’s been a little more than two months since i last wrote. unfortunate for my ever-growing and demanding fan base – but truthfully, if i were to write my day to day trials and tribulations, you would think i was completely uninteresting and i guarantee you would lose any interest in reading this after the first week. basically what i’m trying to say is, i don’t update for YOUR own good.

where to begin? how about with an analogy of my personal growth. i think i’ll use the ever popular “ogres are like onions” from the animated classic, shrek. however unlike shrek; in the case of law school, where everything is always unpredictable, we’re going to say that as a student in august i began as whatever you find at the center of an onion. that weird little bulbus thing. as the weeks go on, you begin to add layers, hence the onion. you start to learn the ropes. what classes you need to complete detailed briefs for, what classes you can get away with just highlighting/book briefing, you make friends who share notes, you form study groups that meet but quickly go off topic because it’s more fun to discuss your professors and come up with ridiculous hypotheticals, and more and more. these add layers and build you up until you become more comfortable with where you are.

i’d say right now i’m probably a white onion, one of those medium sized cooking types you really don’t know what to do with. the way i see it, this is a great analogy because by the time i reach my full growth for the semester, which will be around finals, we can assume that i will be the size of those huge purple onions. what makes this really fitting is, those onions are so big they’re bursting. they’re ready to be chopped up. what better time to feel like you’re being minced into tiny little pieces than finals? oh, don’t forget the fact that when you cut into one of these things, they make you cry. you don’t want to cry, you don’t really know whats actually making you cry, but there you are, balling your eyes out over a vegetable. from what i hear, finals are pretty rough. similar to cutting onions.

with that out of the way, i’ve made friends. i’d like to emphasize the importance of that. as much as you strive to be your own person and fight your way to the top of the class, you’re going to find yourself completely stressed out and looking for any type of affirmation that what you’re reading and attempting to comprehend is actually on the right track. besides, friends make going to class so much easier. if you end up getting called on(oh no! not that bad), they’ll either bail you out by raising their hand if you’re left stammering on about something nonsensical, or they’ll be there after class to tell you how you handled it better than they would have. or if you’re me, you rag on them for how funny it sounded when they had no idea what they were talking about.

another thing i’ve noticed is the decline in my ability to communicate. it’s almost as if i have writers block of the mouth. i don’t know if it’s all the convoluted language constantly being tossed around in cases and from the mouths of your professors, but it started taking a toll on me. maybe it’s not law schools fault at all. maybe it’s my own psyche telling myself to put everything in laymans terms because it makes life easier.

alright, thats it for now. once you’ve spent a day in class and then an extra 3 1/2 hours in the library, the last thing you want to do is talk about school.

realizations.

i find that i have breaks in between classes almost every day that shouldn’t be there because they aren’t long enough to do work, but they also aren’t quite long enough to not do anything in them because then i’d be awkwardly sitting around just staring at people in the lounge. i suppose it’s prime blogging time then. that must be why they gave me these breaks.

1. law school is comparable to a fucking frozen tundra. do not just assume because it’s still summer and the temperatures outside are still hitting 80-85 degrees that you should dress appropriately for the weather. dress as if you are going on an alaskan fishing expedition. do not dress like the girl who just wandered into this lounge wearing a dress that either resembles a potato sack or some sort of outfit you’d see link wearing on zelda. i have no idea where you’d buy such a get up aside from halloween adventures. also, i repeatedly wore flip flops for the first week of school, and probably will continue to do so, but i don’t really suggest it unless you enjoy the chance of hypothermia. they keep law school cold to keep you alert. for that, i’m somewhat thankful.

2. i am seriously contemplating writing a letter to the company who makes the “nature valley” granola bars, along with red bull and asking for a sponsorship. first of all, i find that i eat one of these granola bars for breakfast and then another during lunch, every day. they’ve proven to be a quick and sufficient meal and haven’t really disappointed me yet. if you were wondering – the best flavor is either “oats and honey” or “peanut butter”. as for red bull – i don’t really drink THAT much of it, but this campus is like a walking advertisment for the stuff. anywhere you go, someone you cross paths with will be drinking one. theres one kid in my class that drinks one for breakfast without fail, every morning. i don’t know how he does that. i drank one this morning for no real reason and by 11am i was shaking and had to binge eat my only oats and honey bar that i wanted to save for my 2pm class. fuck.

3. the work load hasn’t gotten any lighter, but i feel like the more cases i read – the better i become at pumping out briefs. i know they don’t recommend it, but book briefing isn’t a bad idea if you’re pressed for time and can’t write out a 2 page summary of the case. just make sure you write some notes in your margins in case you’re called on.

4. i’ve started to notice that i pay more attention to my actions, and the actions of others, because i start to relate them to the material we cover. i can point out when an assault or battery has occurred, probably even if the victim never even realized one happened. i can hold so many people liable for the tort of conversion, but i don’t think the stealing of office supplies, or meaningless small objects would get us much money in court. i wonder if this is going to be the rest of my life. a never ending game that my head plays of “spot the legal issue”. great.

i’m still trying to figure out how to substantially put a dent in my work during the week so that i can free up more time on the weekends and not feel guilty.

orientation/first week of classes

well, i’m alive and well. a survivor of having my life flipped completely upsidedown in a matter of 7 days, and put onto a straight and narrow track that runs for the next three years.

orientation week was pretty interesting. it was a bit of a departure from an undergraduate orientation. we attended various seminars which were designed to “educate” us on financial aid(basically an hour and a half of the bursar’s office telling us how fucked we were until 2033 when our $1,600/mo loan payments would finally be completed), a few law school experience seminars(teachers warning us of the socratic method, students telling us the trials and tribulations they faced the first year), and had a week of an introduction to law class. thats where we depart from a normal undergraduate orientation and realize that this is no joke. a packet of cases were sent to our house in mid-july, with a short outline of what we would be covering over the 4 days of orientation. i guess you can never be fully prepared to be thrown into a law school class and spend 4 hours a night on homework that will never matter again after you’re finished with this introductory program. the end of this intro to law class culminated with a simulated law school exam, which won’t be graded but will be marked with comments on how poorly we structured our answers and returned to us during the third week of classes with the intentions that if we actually want to pass our finals in december, we should take a look at the way we analyze and put together our answers and make a 360.

i sort of appreciate the fact that they gave us an opportunity to taste what a normal school day/work load was going to feel like before having to attend our first week of class. it definitely allowed me to learn how to brief better, and taught me how to being reading analytically and critically.

i take four classes. civil procedure, property, torts and legal methods. i’ve noticed that the majority of my classmates are men, and if not, they’re girls who came from sororities and have absolutely nothing in common with me. a few of the people i’ve met live on campus, but the majority doesn’t. i’m sort of glad i didn’t sign up to live for another 3 years in a cinderblock cell with communal showers. i don’t know how much fun that would be when you subtract parties every night and the feeling that you aren’t being held responsible for your actions. however; i may have liked the dorms close proximity to the library, just not the fact that i’d feel completely isolated living in a single on a campus geared completely towards doing homework 24 hours a day. it’s nice to be able to get out for the few hours i’m not there and come home to a well-balanced meal.

which brings me to my next point. eating. don’t take for granted the ability to have an actual meal at the usual breakfast, lunch and dinner times. if i’m lucky, i’m able to eat a granola bar and yogurt for breakfast on my way out the door, POSSIBLY have time for a peanut butter sandwich at lunch, and by the time 3:30pm rolls around – i’m either completely famished, or past the point where i’m hungry and have just forgotten to eat the entire day because i’ve been too focused on work. law school may prove to be a good diet.

i spend most of my nights reading casebooks and briefing. i find i spend up to 3 hours per class on assignments, which i suppose will start to decline once i get a handle on whats actually expected, instead of going far beyond for every class. my classmates seem to be having the same experience, except the advice i’ve gotten is to completely ignore everyone in your class because if it came down to it and it was you and them locked in a room on fire with one exit, they’d knock you over and step on your body to get to the door. i’m starting to see that, or at least see the pretentiousness of certain people.

well, it’s sunday and i’m heading into another week of classes. i have an overwhelming feeling that i should be doing work(which actually never leaves, even if you’re finished. are you really finished?), so i’ll get out of bed and enjoy my first and last breakfast of the next week.

the calm before the storm.

is how i’ve rationalized the monotony that has been my past week. it almost feels as though my life has slowed to a snails pace of what it has been these past few summer months, however; that will all change severely in the coming days. i’ve tried to get a handle on why i haven’t been nervous until now, a little less than 24 hours before i enter law school.

an image(more like a metaphor) came to me a few minutes ago. i feel like i’m sitting on a rollercoaster just as it leaves the station. picture this. you’re rolling calmly down the straight track, fully aware of what a rollercoaster is – and how bumpy, scary, and nervewracking the ride is going to be.  you knew this when you decided to stand in line, except at that point you were more excited and happy-go-lucky feeling. but now you’re sitting in this cart, a restraint device over your shoulders reminding you that you’re stuck in your decision to get on the ride, and a pit in your stomach starts to grow because you’ve reached that initial hill. the one that you get to the bottom of and theres a quick jolt as the wheels lock into place on the track, right before it starts what seems to be it’s hour-long crawl to the top of the hill. that jolt sort of jars something in your brain, because all of asudden it’s got you thinking – what did i get myself into? am i insane? what’s the probability that this cart, which is only being held to this track by gravity and (hopefully) some sort of brake system, won’t completely fly off the track once it reaches the top – throwing us 6 stories to our deaths? it’s that anxious feeling that you get while you’re riding at an almost completely vertical angle. you’re trying to reassure yourself that it’s just a ride, and it doesn’t last forever. but that incessant clicking noise of the chain below struggling to keep you grounded to the only thing standing between you and the earth is ringing in your ears – you start to forget why you thought standing in the 3 hour line for this ridiculous ride that only brings you closer to the end of your life was such a great idea, and now you’re looking for a way out. why do they put those stairs leading up the sides of the hill? if you scream loud enough to the ride operator, do you think he’ll push that red button and let you get off? is it even worth it? what if you choose to get out now, and you step out of the car thinking you’re going to make it to those steps, but you actually trip and fall through the track, and die. or what if you choose to get out now, and the ride continues without you – except at the end, everyone’s lives have changed for the better because they stuck it out. and then they’re presented with diplomas and six figure salaries at the end. that’d be ideal, wouldn’t it?

well, that was dramatic, and i may not actually be feeling exactly how i described the above hypothetical rollercoaster rider dilemma. i’m not even that nervous, and maybe that’s what scares me the most?

the next time i write, i’ll be officially sworn in as a member of the 2011 graduating class of future attorneys at law. wish me luck.